Deflate your Ego – balancing the reality within yourself


boy fighting The world around us is in balance. So is the inner world of a person.

Whenever the balance is disturbed, there is imbalance; and this is how evil is born.

The way we perceive the world can be either more on the correct side or more on the incorrect side.

We are correct NOT when we follow the moral or religious laws of the society, but when our perception of the world coincides with the sacred Truth itself.

And the Truth is… I wish it was easy to say, but it’s not. However, I think, the truth is that, for the Universe, each person is equally important. Why is it that people get the idea of themselves or the group they belong to, being more important (better, worthier, you name it) than others. I think it arises from their distorted perception of the reality. Their own importance is zoomed up, while other people’s importance is diminished in their perception of the World.

This is how Ego is born.

The nature of the Ego

I’ve been trying to understand the nature of Ego for some time now (for about 3 weeks, I think). I must say it was pretty hard for me to get a clear understanding of the concept. This is because psychologists have a different understanding of what Ego is, and, in their understanding Ego is neutral, not negative. It’s just a characteristic of a human being. Like, all human beings have the Ego. You can’t lose your Ego completely, or else you will lose yourself…

So, I was in doubts. But then I realized (and hopefully right, but you never really know) that the Ego becomes negative when it’s exaggerated. And, when exaggerated, it turns into a monster in your heart that constantly needs sacrifice. That constantly needs to be fed, because the bigger the monster, the hungrier it is.

How the Ego manifests itself

Another thing I couldn’t understand it how the Ego manifests itself. I asked my boyfriend’s opinion. He said an interesting thing. He said that you have an Ego when you don’t let other people say things to you. You don’t want to listen to what they say and you don’t value their opinion. So, we kind of arrived at the conclusion that having an Ego means placing yourself above other people and putting your interests ahead of theirs.

However, I think the Ego may come in all shapes and sizes. For example, when your real motive behind doing something is to assert your own “greatness” (as in greater than other people) or be worshiped. They say all sorts of stars have this disease.

Apparently, when a person used to underestimate himself or herself before, this creates favorable conditions for the Ego to grow over the top. Underestimating your importance or your own meaningfulness to the Universe is another distortion, I think. And those who have this distortion are often the first to jump to another extreme – to inflating their ego to enormous proportions. And usually this is done at the expense of others, by humiliating them.

Why it’s important to regain the balance

Well, perhaps for some people it’s not important, like, it’s not on their agenda right now. But for me it WAS important, because I wanted to develop my character further and my Ego was one of the things that stood in my way. And still do, I think.

Why Ego? See, it’s deceitful. It’s like a distorted mirror. You look at yourself and you think that you’re fine, while in reality you are not.

Well, I think anyone who is in pursuit of the Truth has to balance his/her Ego. Balancing your Ego is able to bring the benefits you’d never expect. The problem with overblown Ego is that it has to be constantly fed, and the problem with the diminished Ego is that is has to be boosted. Once you balance your Ego, it leaves you alone. You perceive the world the way it is. You don’t get hurt when someone criticizes you, because a huge Ego would normally suffer at this, while the small Ego would normally feel uncomfortable and depressed.

Dealing with the Ego – laugh at yourself

Well, the more you try to “fight” your Ego, strangle or silence it, the louder it will shout. At least I can say this from my own experience. 🙂

I came across a splendid article by Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi called You have to laugh at your ego not fight it. Well, it’s not really an article, it’s the transcript of the speech she gave in London in 1979. Do check it out.

The essence of that speech was to balance your Ego by looking at your thoughts and actions from the side and realizing how funny it is when you feel overly important. And this is what I think is the right way to go in dealing with your ego.

Thanks for reading. 🙂

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8 Comments

  1. Lars

    Awesome.

  2. thanks 🙂

  3. Henry

    great article.

  4. “And those who have this distortion are often the first to jump to another extreme – to inflating their ego to enormous proportions. And usually this is done at the expense of others, by humiliating them.” SOMEWHAT TRIVIAL PERHAPS… but I noticed that ‘humiliating them’ recalled to me the necessity of humility, ie being humble, to control excessive Ego. Humiliating must mean close to ‘make humble.’

  5. David Hyatess

    One important thing is that sometimes you *are* right among fools. This isn’t the ego talking, this is common sense, education, control, and experience. However, the ego can make you angry… the best thing to do in such a situation is to walk away and try to find some peace.

  6. when i was “saved” we were the smartest and the best going to heaven and everyone else going to hell. It was one hell of an ego trip.

  7. I just realized an additional rationale for the development of ego, especially extreme ego. Humans are optimists, if not, we would not have survived the evolutionary obstacle course. I try to realize this link whenever I see excessive ego, or even experience it myself.

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